The past couple of months have been strange. I consciously went off my daily regime and indulged for the holidays. Not good. I gained weight. I messed up my sleep. I am having a hard time getting back in the saddle. I also have been having bad sleep attacks on the bus to and from work. As a result, I lost my wallet twice in December (after the second time, I promptly bought a purse that I can wear across my body). At least my faith in humanity was restored when both times people handed in my lost goods without taking a penny. This is truly amazing as one time it was lost on the bus going straight through the heart of Vancouver’s infamous downtown east side the day before welfare Wednesday. I thought it was gone for sure.
I have not lost anything – cell, keys, wallet – since I got my lovely purse. I wanted to increase my good bag karma by getting a back-friendly rolling briefcase for the 40lbs of music books I haul from place to place. Unfortunately, it has not been alucky. My second day of work, I fell asleep extra deeply on the school bus home. When the driver shouted my stop (he knows of my ailment) I woke abruptly, grabbed my guitar and quickly got off the bus pretending to be a conscious person. This is always the scenario. I left my new case on the school bus. At least I knew I’d get it back this time. It was waiting for me at work the next day when I started. All day, my amazing coworkers one by one asked if I had found my case in the office. They say bad things happen in threes, so hopefully I’m safe for now. I’m just glad that my misfortune reminded me of how wonderful this city is.
Adventures of a Narcoleptic Transit Commuter
I caved
And filled my prescription for narco meds. I have a slow release one and a fast acting one but I only did the fast one. This season has been so busy with late evenings I knew I couldn’t make it otherwise. I’ve done three gigs in the past two weeks and I’m in a perpetual haze. My regular sleep schedule was working well up until gig season started though, so I’m feeling confident that come the new year I will be Rx-free once again. After a dose this afternoon, I stayed awake on the bus and saw the route I actually take home! There’s a point where I always nod out and never actually knew where the bus went. I do feel more awake than I have in a long time. I have 60 pills, which is supposed to last me a month but I plan on rationing these bad boys even better than my contact lenses (my ‘two year supply’ of dailies is still going strong at three years. Yay, funky glasses).
Side note: I have discovered how to make gluten free nut bread and have been having hearty, protein packed toast in the morning. It’s awesome with homemade jam. Man, I miss toast now and then.
Narco: 3, Me: 0.
It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve started a new contract that allows me to work more during the day instead of late into the evening. It’s been taking up a lot of my time, settling in. I’ve also started eating more frequent, super protein-y meals and snacks. It’s requiring frequent shopping (I haven’t been very good this week). Between the protein snacks and earlier schedule, I’ve been doing really well on the sleep attack front. I’ve also been vigilant about going to bed as soon as I feel The Wave at night. It comes on around 10-10:30. If I catch The Wave properly, I’m sleeping through the night. I wake around 8:30. No 4am Facebook extravaganzas, no pee breaks.
There’s a down side to this new schedule of mine . Being a musician, gigs often require me to stay awake past The Wave. So far this fall, I haven’t had late rehearsals and the few shows I had have been recently cancelled. At gigs, I’ve resolved to take naps late at night to get me through the show before adrenaline kicks in. It’s been working well. However, I tried to go out to to a couple of friends’ events this weekend and failed miserably. I can’t stand around at a bar listening to music anymore. I found myself going home early twice this week.
Thursday was my brother’s birthday. He made a belated vegan Thanksgiving dinner for his friends (magnificent, by the way). By the time 9:30 rolled around, I could feel the vital wheat gluten kick in and had to leave early just so I could make the drive home. The final guests had just arrived and I had to go. It was lame.
Friday was another birthday. This time, an old friend’s. It was across town. After the night before, I knew I wouldn’t make the drive. I backed out. I still have to call her and apologize. At least I know she’ll understand. She has fibromyalgia and has to cancel plans sometimes too, but that almost makes me feel more terrible for missing it. We see each other once in a blue moon and it’s hard for her to get out.
Then, Saturday. The clincher. My brother (the birthday boy from Thursday) is also a musician and was having a CD release party. He just off a tour of Ontario in September and this was their first Vancouver date in years. I was really looking forward to seeing both his band and the band before. We arrived at 11, having preparatory naps beforehand. I saw old friends all over the place, from all phases of my life. The vibe was great. We caught the second act of the night and I was awaiting the two bands I had come for….and then I got schmucked by The Wave. It was midnight and I knew I wasn’t going to make it. At least when I play, I usually have access to a green room where I can crash for a while. Here, I felt that familiar feeling of falling asleep, standing up, in the middle of a conversation while a drummer is soundchecking in the background. Until now, I’ve always been able to quietly sleep while the event goes on around me. It happens every time I see music. However, I think my diagnosis has made me less inclined to push through the evenings. When my partner said he was tired (he has been working his ass off) and wanted to go home, nap and return at 1am, I was relieved. I suggested we just go home to bed. I found my brother and apologized. He was super understanding and said it meant a lot to him that I had come out, even if I tried and failed.
So now I feel like a total loser. Apparently, I’m one of those plan-cancelling, leave-the-party-early, I-can’t-go-out-late types. I hate it. Not only because I find it super lame to say, ‘Sorry, I can’t, I have this sleep thing’ but it’s keeping me from doing things I love. Like seeing friends, their bands and checking out live music. The general public does not understand. Having narcolepsy is a social joke and people think you shouldn’t need sleep because you can sleep whenever you want to or not. It doesn’t work like that. I am really glad that most of the people closest to me truly understand though.
PS:
Dad – I know I fell asleep in a restaurant the other day and that was probably embarrassing for you, but please don’t tell me to ‘just fight it.’ That’s the freaking problem. It’s not like I’m weak-willed or something. [I can only write this because I know my parents are internet-inept and will never read my blog. Passive aggressive, I know.]
It’s 3:26am.
I’ve found that narcolepsy can be very similar to insomnia. Right now, I’m cursing everyone who’s ever told me, “omigawd, it must be SO nice to just sleep anytime! I wish I could do that. Oh, hahhahaha!” I would kill just to have one night of PROPER sleep. Sleep where I’m not paralysed. Sleep where I don’t have insane, lucid dreams. My body clock can no longer tell time. I’ve been going to bed early because I’ve been fighting a cold and three hours ago I awoke at around midnight thinking I had just had a full night’s sleep. Turns out what I thought was my partner getting ready for work was actually him getting ready for bed. Now, here I am a few hours later, wide awake again. Sorry about the downer post. Today/tonight, whatever this moment in time is, is exceptionally frustrating.
Back on the Wagon
I’m revisiting my naturopath’s notes from the beginning of summer. She thinks that I probably have adrenal burnout that’s contributing to my narcoleptic symptoms and has given me stuff that will help this. Drink more water, take these vitamins and such. This video reflected some of her advice for me including: limiting caffeine, sugar and establishing a sleep schedule. Also, so my blood sugar levels don’t spike I should be regulating my meals by having a few small meals and snacks (no complex carbs for me until dinner though) instead of a Power Dinner when I get home from work at 9pm. This doc recommends 30g of protein at each meal. So how much is that anyway??? A lot, actually. I most certainly am NOT getting enough protein, especially if I’m supposed to be building up my protein levels so I can make more hypocretin. 30g of protein is:
- a can of tuna (40g, actually)
- 1c. of cottage cheese (not supposed to do the dairy thing but whatever)
- 1c-ish of soybeans, lentils, etc.
- 1c-ish of nuts
- 5 freaking eggs (6g each, like I can eat that many eggs anyway)
- 3 chicken thighs or legs
- 3.5oz. chicken breast
- a pork chop or two
That is a lot of food to cook. I don’t mind cooking but I don’t really have time for it (like most people). The ready-to-eat stuff is limited. I should just make a tuna lentil salad topped with almonds and a hard-boiled egg and pack as much as I can into one dish, haha. If anyone has any interesting meal ideas, I’ll gladly take them. Maybe I’ll even post some recipes here myself. I’m also thinking of posting a food diary here so I can keep myself on track (strange how self public shaming works for me).
Work!
Alright. Had my first day back at work after having July and August off. Sometimes two months is too much time. I did have one of the best summers in a long time though. I slept though a lot of it, but I played a quite a bit with Natural Flavas reggae band and played with one of my idols Leroy ‘Heptone’ Sibbles. I also established a symbiotic bond with the keyboard player who has sleep apnea and snores. No one wanted to room with him on the road but fortunately, I can fall asleep through anything. We were awesome roomies. I also love waking up to someone practicing piano. I find it so lovely, like the world’s most beautiful alarm clock. It was only in his headphones but I could still hear the keys plonking and the quiet melody in his head. Sigh….
But now it’s time again to focus on teaching voice. The other good thing about being back at work is having a schedule and being stimulated enough to not nod off. I’m hoping to get back on the high protein diet wagon as well. Things are looking good. Of course, I’m not gonna stop playing – I’ve got a few shows coming up that I’m pretty excited for – but band things are gonna start slowing up. But if you’re feeling nostalgic (like me!) while the air grows crisp, you can always download the Natty Flavs album Suggested price, $7. Support independent music, folks!
http://naturalflavas.bandcamp.com/album/natural-flavas
We’re on the Tube of You and the Book of Faces as well, of course.
Muffins and Sleep Hangovers
I stayed up way too late last night and still got up at my normal 8am time. I had a rehearsal last night until midnight, then took transit home resulting in a 1am bedtime. I don’t think this would be a big deal except that I’ve been going to bed at 10:30pm for the past week. Yes, I go to bed at 10:30pm and wake up at 8. I can’t fire on all cylinders otherwise. Looks like I’m gonna be napping off a sleep hangover for the next couple of days.
On a more positive note, I made semi-healthy muffins yesterday: banana hemp seed. Whole wheat flour and everything. Hemp seeds are my new favourite source of extra protein. Try Greek, honey flavoured yogurt with a couple of teaspoons of hemp seeds. You’ll swear you’re eating cheesecake for breakfast AND it keeps you full till lunch. However, one cannot live on pretend cheesecake breakfasts. Especially when one is supposed to be cutting out dairy*. Anyway, I modified a chocolate chip banana muffin recipe and added hemp seeds instead of chippits. I also lined the muffin tin with hemp seeds so the muffins wouldn’t stick. I’ve seen fancy people do that with sesame seeds before. They are tasty. By the way, what’s with all the online hemp muffin recipes being sugar-free, gluten-free and vegan? I’m not opposed, but sometimes I think trendy hippy ingredients shape recipes in silly ways. I will be trying some gluten-reduced muffins soon but sometimes I just don’t have quinoa flour and frozen organic apple juice concentrate on hand. Geez.
*I refuse to completely cut out dairy. Butter is great and I’d rather have it than margarine, which was created in a lab. My grandmother always tells me ‘everything in moderation’ and ‘eat fresh and homemade’ and she’s a healthy 82. I’m siding with her.
A New Spin on Sleepiness
So, no naps today or yesterday! I really, really needed one yesterday but skipped it because my brother invited himself over for dinner. He understands my sleepiness and tolerates my zonking out mid-conversation. It happens more to him than anyone else and he takes it all in stride. He’s awesome like that. I sent him on his way a bit earlier than usual and went to bed. Maybe it’s because I’ve been really good about eating lots of nuts (pumpkin, almonds and cashews!) and other protein sources but it could also be that I found this in my covers after making my bed this morning. Now I don’t know what to do with her. A spider that lives to be this big is something that deserves my respect, so I will not kill her. Also, the impending crunch of execution makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. What do you do with a spider the size of your palm? She was hard to get in the jar because the span of her legs is as wide as the top of the mason. Hopefully she’ll be easier to get out.
Naps
Didn’t take one yesterday! I don’t think I did anyway. I guess that makes up for the three I took the day before.
Just call me Paul Gonsalves
A great tune, great band AND a hilarious clip of tenor sax player Paul Gonsalves sleeping on the bandstand. How can you lose?
Stasis Pod 